Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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