yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
