My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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