I'm so fucking centered right now
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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