Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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