the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize