I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
