I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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