Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
