Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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