Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
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