we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
