Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
