you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize