That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There are leaves in my underwear?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
