is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
