The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
