It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
