69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
