I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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