He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
