There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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