but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
