I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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