if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
