just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
