Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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