I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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