i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
