i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize