we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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