Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
