i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I love you. Go after that dick
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
