Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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