i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize