ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
