I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize