did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
