were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Who wears a wallet chain?!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize