I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
