god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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