Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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