They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
