And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
