I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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