FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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