Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
