What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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