its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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