i wish peter jackson would direct porn
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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