Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
