I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
