weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
