we have officially lost it.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
