she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize