I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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