I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
