I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
