I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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