tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
