yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
