BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I cut my penus on the lid.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
