singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
