Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
