Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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