I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
