hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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