Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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