No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
