Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
babies were throwing up all over the place
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
